awkward is me.

I am probably the most awkward person in the world.

I have some embarrassing stories to share. You may be asking, "well then why is she going to blab her stories to the entire blog world?" Well I'll tell you why.

They're too dang funny to be un-blogged.

So for the last two months, I have been on a mission. My mission has been to be happy, and to enjoy in my surroundings. When I first came here to BYU, I was.....well, I wasn't loving it. That's for sure. It felt too big for me, and I didn't feel like we were living in a very social place. thankfully though, things have changed. Once I started this 'mission', everything has turned around. I love school, love the roommates, and I even love this crap of a hole we live in. With all the new experiences, came the dating ones too...

People here at BYU, particularly boys, love to date. For me this is a HUGE change from the completely non-existent dating life I had at Snow. If there was a stat sheet of Jena's Dating Life from 2007-2009, people who read it could easily assume that I must've had lepersee, or some other really awful disease that deemed myself non-dateable. Anyways..Like I said, the Y is different. I am going on lots of dates and it is way fun, but with this fun comes the awkward moments.

yep. Here comes one of many stories....

story 1: The Hook

Preface to Story: On Halloween I borrowed my little cousins pirate hook toy for my pirate costume that I was wearing to a Halloween Party in our ward that night....

Story: So there is a boy who is super nice who has asked me out a couple of times. I'm a slow mover now, (after learning my lessons from some 'not so slow' relationships/catastrophic events) and I just want to have fun right now in my life; with no commitment (i.e. kissing and in most cases, holding hands). So this nice boy (we'll call him Juan, because it totally throws you off to who he really is) payed me a surprise visit one night, and I could just tell he was going to try to kiss me. In order to evade the awkward kiss moment, I asked if he would come to my neighbors house really fast because my roommates and I were going to sing a song there. So he came with me, and while I was there I saw the pirate hook that I had lost on Halloween. (The Halloween party had been at their house) I was way happy to find it, and stuck it in my coat pocket. Anyways, so after that we headed home; we meaning my roommates, Juan, and I. My plan was to get to our apartment with lots of people around, then say goodbye to Juan so that he wouldn't try anything.

Well it turns out that he had a plan of his own too.

Right as we were going to walk into my apartment, he asked if I would walk to his car with him, because he had to go. (aww crap, I thought) As we were walking, my hands were cemented into my pockets. Well, that didn't suit him, so he TOOK MY ARM AND PULLED MY HAND OUT OF MY POCKET to hold it. yes. yes he did. It was like some sort of hand excavation type of thing, as if he was a construction major trying out his new tractor skills. I didn't want to do it, but I was more scared to hurt his feelings, so I just let him because the car was only 20 feet away so I figured I'd be free soon.

As we neared the car door, he turned around to me and hugged me for a bit, saying how he was happy he got to see me. I wasn't really listening though, because all I could see were his eyes, scanning my face. Oh no, oh no no no. I thought. He is totally giving the kissy face. The kiss is coming!!! AH what do I do???? I don't want to kiss him!!! And as my mind was racing, racing, racing, and his face got closer and closer, I just WAM! threw my head into his chest in a kind of tackle hug move; the type of hard and rough man hug that football players give each other when they've won the game. ha, I held it there for a second, then had a brilliant idea. As I pulled back, and saw again the kissy face coming for me.....

....I reached in my pocket for the toy hook, pulled it out and plopped it in my mouth.

No seriously, I did.

I. stuck. a. 5 year old's. toy. pirate. hook. in. my. mouth. people.

to escape the kiss! I was just standing there, chewing on it like a complete and utter retard. (no offense to those with mental disabilities)
While chewing on it, I just babbled about how my feet were cold, and then very abruptly, I said goodbye, turned around and RAN.

Yeah, that's me. The weirdo. Note to self: In some cases, honesty might really be the best policy unless you really enjoy moments that are more awkward than an accidental toot. (not that I have had that happen to me personally, but its happened to others around me before...and yeah, it was awkward; believe me)

Well more stories to come. Hopefully this will satisfy your needs for now. It was a monumental moment in my life. SAVED BY THE HOOK!!!!

Hear ye, hear ye!!

Updates:

• 70's Show went awesome (more details below)

• My new nephew Dawson was born and he is PRECIOUS!!

• I'm addicted to 7-11 sugar free Crystal Light slurpees

• Since the big Saturday snow, I feel that it is almost okay to listen to Christmas music...almost.

• Two months ago, on a whim, I auditioned to work at Disneyland. Fast forward two months to last Friday; I got the call that I had made it, and that I was also accepted into the Disney College Program. How random is that? My decision is still pending, but at the present moment I'm thinking that my answer will probably be a 'no' because something is not feeling totally right about it. But still--pretty cool right?!

• It seems like I'm stressed all the time...but amidst all of it, I am really happy.

• What has consumed my life for the last two months....??
  

The whole group! Aren't they darling??

This has consumed my life the last 2 months!!

They 70's show at ALA went so great! They are such an awesome group and I feel really blessed that I was able to work with these 10 amazing kids (granted, some are only 3 years younger than me...but still, they are kids). They are all so wonderful, and I love each of them to pieces. This was such a great opportunity to be pushed to limits that I didn't know I had. Again, I am so thankful to Mr. Lunt for giving me such an awesome job....I want to do it 'til I'm eighty!

And now for the biggest update......

I have been wondering over the last little while if I should go private or not. I've always just thought, "my blog isn't that important so I don't really care who reads it" but that idea has kind of gone out the window once I started getting weird emails from 'Jena-blog-lover-dudes' in London. I'm now feeling the need for just a tiny bit of privacy. Now I'm not saying that I only want my close friends and family to read it, because that would be a lie...I love stalking random peoples blogs; its so fun, and I would hate to ruin the fun for people who stalk mine. I would just prefer these 'stalker' readers to maybe be people that at least know 'of' me...and that they at least live in or around Utah..or America for that matter, because there is a difference between fun blog stalking, and creepy real blog stalking.

Henceforth (in a loud British voice since I have so many British fans out there)....

Please leave your emails so that I can add you to the 'reading list'. It doesn't matter who you are, don't be ashamed! I would love to still have you read my weekly ramblings of embarrassing moments, heartfelt desires, senseless blurbs, and wishful thoughts and feelings...

I will be pushing the private button in two weeks.

Jena out.

senseless blurb

I've been trying to sleep for almost two hours but can't because so many things are in my head

Here comes a senseless thinking blurb.

Tonight was Encore's opening show and it was AWESOME! I loved who I was with, and also that my parents were there. It was so cool to be an audience member rather than a performer. I loved seeing my mom and dad laughing and clapping...it made me appreciate all the times they came to my shows in high school because even though I didn't see them...I know that they were whoop and hollering for me too.

I feel like I've really accomplished something with this show and it makes me feel so proud. I thank Mr. Lunt from the bottom of my heart for having so much faith and trust in my abilities. He pushed me in high school, and taught me how to fly...and now he's done that for me yet again. The teaching never quits, and I love it.

School is insane right now. Every day is planned to the minute so that I can fit everything in.

Why are Americans so busy? I want to go to Germany and be lazy with lots of vacation time.

Sometimes I have weird dreams...well besides right now since I CAN'T SLEEP. Oh well, the point still remains that my dreams are all kinds of weird.

Christmas is coming and I'm starting to get a little excited butterflies in my stomach.

Although I am so busy, I am so dang happy...like all of the time.

I've decided that Heavenly Father has a sense of humor, and I love that about Him.

I love my friends, and am so grateful for all they do.

I love old people..not like old, old but just over 40's old...For some reason I always get along with them really well. I'll call them 'mid' people since old is sounding too harsh. To restate: I love mid people.

I just read Annalece Booth's blog (which is awesome) and loved her post about women and blogs. I totally blog so that people will be entertained....therefore, I am a performing blogger.

Yay, this worked...my eyes are getting tired.

More pictures and great stories to come in the odd, fun, and sometimes boring life of me.

Jena out.

This is the way we say goodbye..

This is a post from last week that I forgot to post...but I love it. So here you go:

I get so wrapped up in life. The ups, downs, classes, deadlines, homework, and so on. I try to take in moments; to relish in my surroundings and to thank the Lord for all He's blessed me with...but as life goes, I get distracted.

Today was one of these 'types' of days. Zooming and distracting. Too fast to catch up, and too wrapped up in the superficial things. I got home after work, and collapsed on the couch in self pity. Why? I don't even remember, but for that moment I felt like the only thing I wanted to do was just lay there for the rest of the night.

All of the sudden, I remembered about my Monday evening class that I always forget about. I decided to just skip it because I wanted nothing more than to just sleep. At this point, a strong feeling came. "Jena. Go to class" And then again, "Jena. Go to class."

I'm not one to ignore specific promptings

...twice

So I pulled myself off the couch and headed out the door.

I got to class, and the teacher said, "Today we're just watching a movie" I wondered why in the world I was there..What was so special about watching a movie??? Well, it wasn't long before my answer was given....

The movie was, Tuesdays With Morrie, made from one of my all time favorite books. I laughed, cried, and felt so much in that hour and a half. So many inspired thoughts were brought to my mind that I couldn't ignore. If you've never read the book, read it. If you've never watched the movie, go to youtube....

Its a true story about an old man who is dying from ALS (Lou Gherrigs Disease). This man, Morrie, was remarkable in every way. He was the type of person who saw everything wonderful, and beautiful about this life. He valued relationships, family, friends, knowledge, nature, and most especially--love.

His words today, left such an impact on my mind and heart. He taught and spoke about different life lessons that I wish everyone could hear. To me he epitomized what its like to be a person in the worst of situations, but to have the BEST outlook. He taught forgiveness, love, appreciating people, and appreciating life.

There were so many quotes that I loved, but the one that really hit home was when Morrie was days away from dying, and he was trying to teach Mitch (the other main guy) how to be okay with it. Mitch has obvious death issues, but Morrie just tried to make him see that, "Death ends a life, not a relationship" and then, with his feeble, shaky hand he grabbed Mitch's hand and just squeezes it and looks up at Mitch with tears in his eyes and says,

"This is how we say goodbye......Love you"

That part touched me in so many ways. To me it implies that even though we may lose someone physically, we will never lose them altogether...We can still talk to, love, cry to, honor, and miss the people who Heavenly Father needed to come home a little earlier than maybe we expected.

crap. Tears are here.

Obviously my mind is just on my beautiful sister Em. Sometimes I get so sad because I can't talk to her, or go lie in bed with her and cry about a boy that's broken my heart...but this movie reminded me that I can still do those things. For some, Heaven seems so far away, but I know that it's not. The veil is so thin, and I can feel her so close. Even though I know she's probably super busy up there telling everybody to get their bums in gear and accept the gospel...I believe that some days, she takes a little time off because she knows that one of us needs her. Even though my heart breaks that I can't see her, I can definitely feel her, and I know that she's there to comfort and be there for me and my family when something 'big' is happening...whether good or bad.

Emo Beth,

Love you.

So I'll admit it.

I'm a total hopeless romantic.

I read books that usually involve a guy and a girl slowly but surely falling for each other. I watch movies about Darcy's and Elizabeth's ending up engaged. I day dream all. the. time. about random romantic things (i.e. a guy on his motorcycle stops in front of me as I'm walking home from school. I react surprised, scared, ....but also curious. He pulls off his helmet, and to my 'dropdeadamazement', I see heaven on a face. aka a total hunk. He says, "Do you wanna go for a ride up to the temple?" In a deep, husky, make my knees weak voice. I nod. He gives me a spare helmet. I get on behind him wrapping my arms around his tight leather jacket. We ride off.....then, since I'm a weirdo--we break into song whilst driving away. And its usually something Disney related.)

I'm not saying that I'm like this 24/7, because I'm not. Sometimes I get into the 'Miss Independent Don't Need No Man' mood and am perfectly content and happy with life. Right now though, I am in a hopelessly, pathetically, wonderfully, magically, romantic state of mind.

Yeah, I said it. But it's my blog so I can be honest right?

There's no reason for this state of mind...(well maybe a cookie had something to do with it;) But seriously, even though being a hopeless romantic is lame, its SO FUN! I'm not the type that whines because I haven't found a husband yet, or that I'm single. I have so much fun with this period of my life. I'm allowed to be as pathetically in love with love all I want without a husband telling me to grow up, or a boyfriend being weirded out. Single ladies need to understand, accept, and LOVE this time in our lives. We can feel, be, and dream anything we want right now. We get to go to movies with our roommates and freak out when Edward and Bella kiss. We get to date all sorts of fun people, with no obligation or committment. We get to dream of the day when we meet the boy that's going to make our stomachs jump, and initiate love bumps (aka goosebumps that happen any time when something cute is happening, has just happened, or is about to happen)

oh man...I LOVE stomach jumps!

I know that when I'm older and married with maybe a few kiddos, I'll look back and read this someday. Well, this is for you 'older Jena' :

Even though you're married, I sure hope that you're keepin the love alive. I hope that you have found somebody who you can share your 'firsts' with. Like your first kiss married, your first kiss in Montana, your first kiss on a ferris wheel, your first kiss after you've had your first baby, and so on. You may look back at this 'single time' in your life and think, "Oh my gosh, I was so lame" but just accept that even though you were slightely lame, you had so much fun! You made bland, walking home from school moments into awesome 'motorcycle rides off into the sunset' moments. You talked and laughed with your roommates until the wee hours of the night about your hopes and dreams about your future husbands.

Never stop being hopelessly in love. It's what you dreamed about, so live up to your own expectations.

Have fun. Love and be loved. Dream.

Jena out.

I. Need. To. Vent.

I have so many things on my mind, so my words probably won't make sense...

but I need, need, NEED, to let some out.

The Lord has been so close to me the past few weeks. Sometimes I wish that life would press pause so I could have a little time-out. Why does Fall pass so fast? I love, love, love my nieces and nephews and can't wait for my new baby Dawson to come any day now. Cramps. should. die. I think I'd be a kick butt missionary.There are some people that need muzzles. The kids I am teaching at ALA did so good at their show. Some people still makes me weak in the knees. Running is such a release. I want to go to Europe. I love watching inspiring movies. I cannot wait to be a mom and a wife. Nevermind, I can wait but there are some moments when I can't wait. Pictures kick butt. I love making videos that earn me A's. I need to work on my in-decisiveness. I want to breathe some ocean air..really bad. Sometimes memories really bite. I miss Snow. I am living in confusion of what to do and where to go, but I have faith that everything is going to be just fine...with time.

Just breathe.

(pictures to go along with the madness)



Me, Brooklyn, and Mady at our ward party

ROOMIE PICTURES!





Kaitlyn and I at FAME

My beautiful Covered bridge
.
my AWESOME elementary school show choir

Lizzy and I doing a wedding interview. Hilarious

One of the pictures I took (of Crystal) for my dance video


The wonderful ENCORE group that I choreograph for



Jena out.

bum reducing, weddin' going, singing, dancing, and more....

Whoa there. The leaves are changing, and I smell Halloween.

What the weird?

Anyways, I feel blessed to have a moment to vent. Granted I should probably be doing other things like....hm, homework maybe? But who does that...

Well life has been pretty nuts the last couple of weeks. Here's a quick bulleted version update:

• My birthday was really fun with my roommates, they made me cakes, decorated or apt. and we had a great time singin' and watching the new Sense and Sensibility. Jace also took me to the roof and it was a MAAAAZ ing!

• My roommates and I have finally de-crappified our apartment and we love it now. We've already been having lots and lots of fun....all the time, any where.....hence:

• Brittany aka B aka Chawnie aka Lorraine Hughes got married to Jason on September 3rd. It was the craziest but most happy wedding I've ever been to. I am so blessed to have shared my last two years being Britt's roommate. We've been through thick and thin together with both of our lives' struggles, but it was such a wonderful thing to see her so incredibly at peace, and inexpressibly happy with her new husband and best friend Jason. (P.S. the reception was crazy because both Britt and Jason were on student counsel aka popular in High School, as well as on Student Government down at Snow College. These social status' lead to the fact that their wedding line was an hour and a half wait.....but holy High School reunion! It was nuts!

• I got another Kidney Stone. It was absolutely (insert word that is too painful for the dictionary).
• I got a calling in my new ward.....DRUMROLL PLEASE.......I am the Relief Society Music Coordinator. I get to pick the songs, as well as plan the 'music minutes' each week. I already love this calling so much, and the relief society president is absolutely wonderful.
• I have finished 3 weeks of BYU already. Its pretty intense here sometimes but I am liking it. I walk 2+ miles a day simply by walking to class and back. The stairs here are so insane. I climb about 8 flights a day. Whoever decided to build this University on a hill must've loved hiking....as well as a really fit bum.

• I got a hair cut and color. IT was truly in dire need. Now I have bangs though and I don't know how to handle them really...hopefully I'll be able to 'work it' with time though. (I feel like a snap is in order whenever someone says "Work it". Ha)

• Brooklyn, Mady, and I performed at Spanish Fork High School's Variety Show on Thursday and it turned out really good. It felt awesome to have a head mic on again and to do a mic check. It made me miss performing so bad, but it also made me feel super old. The fact that they were bringing back 'alumni' (and that I WAS alumni) to perform was just weird.

• It was Jace's sister Ashley's wedding yesterday and it turned out beautiful. Ash invited me to go and help with the 'bridal party getting ready' deal and it was so fun. I did all the little girls hair. My dad officiated it and they were so happy to finally be married.

• I got a job working for Mr. Lunt at ALA. I am choreographing for their Encore's 70's show. It was on really short notice, so he basically asked me to teach almost the same choreography that I learned when I was a senior, except to alter some of the songs/moves. Its been really fun and I've loved it. I'm also choreographing a number for the Elementary School show choir as well...They are my favorite and their number is adorable if I do say so myself.

Well that is a pretty good idea of what's going on right now. I am still just trying to get comfortable with all the transition that's taking place in my life. I'm thankful to have patient roommates who deal, and sometimes even laugh at my weirdness.

Jena Out.